March 26, 2026
Healing Through Financial Wisdom: David Nassief on Preparing Your Family for the Unexpected
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, David Nassif shares his transformative story of losing his job at age 63, facing financial uncertainty, and turning that adversity into a powerful mission to help men rebuild their lives and wealth. His insights reveal the importance of honest self-assessment, purpose, and practical steps to attain financial and emotional resilience. Main Topics: David's personal journey from job loss to financial independence at age 69 The emotional impact of losing one's ca...
In this episode, David Nassif shares his transformative story of losing his job at age 63, facing financial uncertainty, and turning that adversity into a powerful mission to help men rebuild their lives and wealth. His insights reveal the importance of honest self-assessment, purpose, and practical steps to attain financial and emotional resilience.
Main Topics:
David's personal journey from job loss to financial independence at age 69
- The emotional impact of losing one's career and identity
- Building resilience: how rejection and failure strengthen mental muscles
- Practical financial recovery: the nine-step wealth compass
- The importance of vulnerability and trusting others during grief and hardship
- The role of faith and purpose in overcoming life's setbacks
- How to start small routines that restore momentum after disruption
- The critical need for early financial planning for men and seniors
Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction to David Nassif and his story of loss and resilience
04:33 - Welcome and episode overview
05:15 - David recounts his surprising career transition at 63 and lessons learned
06:40 - Building financial strength through rejection and perseverance
07:55 - The journey from financial insecurity to wealth at age 69
08:00 - Origins of the Father's Refuge podcast and focus on grief in men
08:49 - Personal experience of job loss and ageism in the workforce
10:09 - Emotional toll of losing a job and societal expectations of men
11:10 - The internal fear and shame during unemployment
12:20 - Society's view of men’s identities based on their careers
13:37 - The shock of sudden employment termination and the emotional aftermath
15:15 - Common emotions men face post-job loss and the importance of vulnerability
16:13 - The analogy of walking in circles and finding a clear direction
17:08 - How honesty and a new purpose paved David’s recovery
18:32 - The importance of a practical action plan and step-by-step routines
19:20 - How supporting loved ones can motivate resilience during crises
21:53 - The societal and personal pressures on men to stay strong
22:22 - Simplicity and clarity in rebuilding financial stability
23:27 - Introducing the nine-step financial compass for rebuilding wealth
24:09 - Small habits that restore confidence after disruption
25:37 - The power of mental honesty and self-awareness in recovery
27:29 - Recognizing that change requires stepping out of repetitive patterns
28:36 - Setting realistic retirement goals an
Losing a child to cancer is a grief no parent should walk through alone. The Father's Refuge Podcast is a safe place for fathers and parents to share, heal, and find hope in the midst of heartbreak. If you are a father and you would like to share your grief journey with others reach out to me at FathersRefuge@proton.me
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00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:08.800
Well, you know, losing income, um it kinda runs the the little red wagon off the off the trail and kind of sets it on fire, right?
00:00:09.039 --> 00:00:09.199
Yeah.
00:00:09.439 --> 00:00:22.160
And and there's uh you know, there's the finality of losing your job and the security that goes along with that and the hope uh of the next you know, the the the next few paychecks.
00:00:22.480 --> 00:00:35.200
And and your I'm sure your wife and I'm sure men's families, you know, they're fearful, they're scared, they don't you know, unless unless your spouse works and brings in an income as well.
00:00:35.439 --> 00:00:38.159
But most families in America have two income families.
00:00:38.320 --> 00:00:53.679
You know, they it requires two incomes uh for for them to survive, to put food on the table, pay the living expenses, hopefully get ahead a little bit, uh save for vacation, save for retirement, whatever it is that you're doing with your money.
00:00:54.159 --> 00:01:03.439
But you know, and so a lot of that fear and angst and anxiety from the family kind of reflects back on you, right?
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And you you you want to stay strong, you want to be strong, you want to put on a not necessarily a b you know a a good front, but but you don't want to show when when they're weak, you need to be strong, right?
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And so how how do you do that for your family?
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How do you remain strong, but at the same time dealing with the identity crisis and and the fear that you're battling?
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:30.879
Yeah.
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And you know, a lot of these people when you lose a spouse, okay, fortunately I don't have an experience, but I know people who have, and I've seen the devastation after that, not just emotionally, but financially.
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Like you say, a lot of most families today, not a lot of them, most of them probably, have a two-family income.
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And when you lose half that income and you're dealing with a loss and you still have a family to keep going, that is devastating.
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And if you start making mistakes now because of that situation, it just compounds the problem.
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It really does come on it.
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And I've seen people suffer too much.
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So I when I made my compass, I made it simple.
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I made a non-financial tech type thing and more like just for the average person.
00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:16.960
And we have like a there's nine steps on it, and wherever you're at, you just look where you're at, and then you go from there and you take one step forward from where you're at.
00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:24.400
And that's uh just very simple because with that kind of loss, it's the worst thing to do is now make compound it with financial pain.
00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:29.039
You know, uh you've got the emotional pain, but now now let's compound it with no, we don't want to compound it with financial pain.
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We really don't.
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So at some point a man realizes he has to build from the inside out.
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What does the first honest step usually look like?
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What was your first honest step?
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Well, first honest step was recognizing I blew it for and I'm not saying everyone's this way, okay, but uh but for me, I'm gonna speak for you.
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I blew it for 40 years.
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I I mean I knew how to make money, but I didn't know how to build wealth.
00:02:50.479 --> 00:02:52.719
Those are two different separate skill sets.
00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:56.960
And I I was pretty good at one, but lousy at the other one.
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And I had to be honest with myself, I have to do it differently.
00:03:00.319 --> 00:03:06.719
If I keep doing it like I'm doing, just making more money isn't gonna solve anything because we're still gonna end up in a on a cliff at the end of it.
00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:09.759
And so I think being honest with yourself is the first step.
00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:18.240
And and then for me, financially, you know, and again, I'm talking from a financial standpoint, is this is the actual one-page comfort, so I'm gonna give to all your listeners for free.
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There's no nothing, I'm not here to sell you nothing, argue that.
00:03:20.800 --> 00:03:25.520
But basically, these are the nine steps, and you just figure out where you're at in these nine steps, and you just pick up from there.
00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:33.280
You don't have to, you know, knowing where you're at is half the battle, you know, and then knowing how to get to the next step is the other half of the battle.
00:03:33.360 --> 00:03:43.919
And and and sometimes when you're emotional or when you just don't know, uh you can go in circles, like like those people in that example and I did for 40 years, and that's what you don't want to be doing going in circles.
00:03:44.400 --> 00:03:44.960
Right.
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David, how do you say your last name?
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Nasif.
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Nasiv.
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David Nassif, a man whose story carries both the weight of loss and the quiet strength that comes from walking through it.
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David has lived the kind of pain many men never talk about, and he's learned how to turn that pain into compassion, clarity, and a steady hope for others.
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His journey speaks directly to fathers who feel broken alone or unsure how to take the next step.
00:05:04.560 --> 00:05:11.120
I'm honored to welcome him into the space as we talk about grief, rebuilding, and the kind of hope that meets a man right where he is.
00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:13.519
David, thank you for being on the podcast today.
00:05:13.759 --> 00:05:14.720
I'm thrilled to be here.
00:05:14.959 --> 00:05:20.720
Yeah, my name is David Nassiv, as you mentioned, and I uh wasn't I never planned on being an author.
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I really never planned on going on a podcast in my life, although I do enjoy listening to him.
00:05:25.120 --> 00:05:28.240
But something happened to me uh that was kind of life-transforming.
00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:33.839
And it happened when I was 63, and I just got fired after 18 years with the same company, I tell you.
00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:35.839
That is a day I would not wish on anybody.
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I did the math and it was brutal.
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If we drained all of our savings and all of our retirement, we'd be broke by 65.
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And at this point, I'm thinking, who is gonna hire me at my age?
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But James, that wasn't even the worst part.
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The worst part was driving home.
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I was thinking, how am I gonna tell my wife Mary?
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We had been married at that point for 30 years.
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She did not deserve the mess I just threw our family into.
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So after two months of dead-end job searching, because I'm gonna be honest with you, my heart wasn't in it.
00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:07.279
The thought of going back to the corporate world just made me sick to my stomach.
00:06:07.439 --> 00:06:09.279
But the thing is, what was I gonna do?
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I needed money.
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You know, I didn't need, I only had a short runway.
00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:21.519
And so, anyways, after two months of dead-end job searching, I finally decided to take a huge risk and I went to work as an independent sales agent on straight commission.
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No salary, no safety net, no benefits.
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The first months were brutal.
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It was constant cold calls, constant rejection, rookie mistakes.
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I don't think I ever heard any so many no's in my life in a one or two month period of time.
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But you know what, James, it's funny.
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All that resistance I was getting through, that rejection, I really believe looking back, I can reflect on it now.
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I think it was the mental muscle, it helped me build the mental muscles I needed to punch through that dark moment, that time that I just felt like I was lost.
00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:52.959
So, anyways, after 10 months of grinding, I hit an incredible milestone.
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I was suddenly making more money than my good paying six-figure corporate salary.
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And I thought, oh my gosh, we made it.
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But then I realized we didn't make nothing.
00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:02.000
I've been making good money most of my life.
00:07:02.079 --> 00:07:03.839
And the problem wasn't making good money.
00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:06.560
The problem for me was investing it and building wealth.
00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:07.920
I just was terrible at it.
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:11.439
I mean, after 40 years, you'd think I'd have had a huge nest egg and I got nothing.
00:07:11.680 --> 00:07:15.199
So I decided I can't waste my time with a bunch of investment theories.
00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:21.920
I dug down and read 21 books, listened to 13 podcasts faithfully on financial planning, read blogs and newsletters.
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Every time I got a good idea, I put it on this one piece of paper.
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I distilled everything down to this one piece of paper, and I made a kind of a set it and forget it approach because I had to run my company.
00:07:30.319 --> 00:07:33.360
I couldn't be looking at Wall Street and looking at the market, all that kind of thing.
00:07:33.519 --> 00:07:45.360
And so, anyways, six years later, at age 69, I hit what I thought was impossible from terrified of being broke to a seven-figure portfolio and real financial freedom.
00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:48.720
James, I now know it is never too late to rewrite your story.
00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:54.879
Because if I can pull that off starting as late as 63, I know anyone can with the right direction.
00:07:55.120 --> 00:07:55.360
Okay.
00:07:55.519 --> 00:07:56.720
Well, it's very interesting.
00:07:56.879 --> 00:08:00.240
So Father's Refuge is about loss and grief.
00:08:00.399 --> 00:08:13.600
And the podcast is about loss and grief, and it's it's uh here for men who have lost a wife or a child to some sort of you know cancer illness, car wreck, whatever it might be.
00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:20.480
So I started this out because in 2001 we lost our daughter Jessica, who was 10 years old, to cancer.
00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:26.800
And there was no support back then for fathers that were dealing with loss and grief.
00:08:27.040 --> 00:08:33.679
Fast forward to six months ago, I was talking to somebody on another podcast, and they said, Hey James, you ought to start a podcast.
00:08:33.919 --> 00:08:34.720
You've got a story to tell.
00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:36.639
And I'm like, Oh, that was like an epiphany.
00:08:36.720 --> 00:08:38.639
I was like, Why didn't I even think of that?
00:08:38.799 --> 00:09:06.639
So I started it, and podcasting is very dynamic in that you're constantly learning how to adapt to the audience, to adapt to the podcasting network and podcasting in general, you're learning how to do things better, uh, and you're learning, you know, I learned that I want to change the scope of for the podcast and be a little more inclusive uh of family members that are experiencing loss and grief.
00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:17.120
And obviously, when you when you lose a job like that, I yeah, I worked for Wyndham Vacation Rentals from 2008 to 2018, and at that time I was in my 50s.
00:09:17.279 --> 00:09:18.000
They let me go.
00:09:18.080 --> 00:09:21.840
And I was like, I thought that was gonna be my last job as an adult, right?
00:09:21.919 --> 00:09:24.720
I was just gonna ride the gravy train and and retire.
00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:34.480
Uh and so in 2018, I found myself, you know, 55 years of age or whatever, and I'm considered a senior, and it's like nobody wanted to hire me.
00:09:34.639 --> 00:09:38.000
And I was like, I was hard pressed to find another IT job.
00:09:38.159 --> 00:09:49.039
And I've got 30 years of experience in IT, and then they were like, I kept hearing from recruiters and hiring managers, I'm sorry, while you have an impressive background, we've decided to go with another candidate.
00:09:49.279 --> 00:09:50.399
Well, what does that tell you?
00:09:50.559 --> 00:09:52.399
It tells you that you're just too old.
00:09:52.480 --> 00:09:54.080
They're not gonna come out and tell you that.
00:09:54.240 --> 00:10:04.000
But if you have, you know, all these certifications and degrees and 30 years of experience, you're you're more than qualified for most of the jobs, if not overqualified.
00:10:04.159 --> 00:10:14.960
So anyway, you know, when it when a when somebody loses a career like that, there's there's loss assigned to it or or associated with that, and grief.
00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:27.200
And so so it's interesting that that you're telling us about your story because I know that there are men that are listening to this podcast that have experienced that at some point in their life, right?
00:10:27.440 --> 00:10:31.600
And so I want to talk a little bit about that as well.
00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.519
So when a man loses his job, it hits deeper than finances.
00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:39.039
And your experience was what does that moment feel like on the inside?
00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:42.639
It's a combination of terrifying loss, certainty.
00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:46.960
I remember, you know, I'm the kind of person, when I my head hits a pillow, James, I I'm asleep.
00:10:47.039 --> 00:10:48.720
You know, I'm asleep for the night.
00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:52.639
But I remember waking up in the middle of the night saying, wait a minute, we still got all these bills going out.
00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:55.679
That the electric company didn't say, hey, we're gonna give you a break because you got laid off.
00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:57.360
I didn't get laid off, I got fired, okay?
00:10:57.600 --> 00:10:59.919
Well, we're gonna give you a break on the water bill because no, no, no.
00:11:00.000 --> 00:11:05.679
It was they were all barreling at us, and I had no money coming in, zero money coming in.
00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:07.600
And that is such a frightening experience.
00:11:07.679 --> 00:11:11.440
I remember my wife, just talk about the the pain of the whole thing.
00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:22.080
My wife, she asked me to go shopping with her uh in like a Wednesday afternoon morning because it was a big sale and she wanted to conserve money because we were trying to, we only had a two-year one-way, and it was even getting shorter.
00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:24.480
And so I went with her to help out because I had nothing else to do.
00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:26.399
I was sending my resume, but getting nowhere.
00:11:26.559 --> 00:11:33.279
And then I remember I went in the store, and I know I know this isn't probably accurate, but I felt like it was the only man in the whole store.
00:11:33.360 --> 00:11:38.799
It was the mothers and babies in their carts, and and I'm thinking, what the heck am I doing here on a Wednesday late morning?
00:11:38.960 --> 00:11:41.919
I should be out earning a living, providing for my family.
00:11:42.080 --> 00:11:49.759
And I remember Mary was checking out, and I'm at the end of the counter waiting, and I just I felt like I had a sign on me, the biggest loser.
00:11:49.919 --> 00:11:51.759
I just felt like I wanted to scream.
00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:54.240
I wanted to break out, but where was I to break out to?
00:11:54.399 --> 00:12:04.320
When I interviewed with people like you're saying, James, I, you know, I they were very polite, but it's like I I could almost read their minds, you know, we could hire someone half your age for a third of the cost that you are.
00:12:04.720 --> 00:12:05.600
Sure, absolutely.
00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:17.440
I remember they're saying, so what kind of ingenuity or forward thinking could you bring to the company saying, like, what could a 63-year-old bring to, you know, it was almost like it was a negative, you know, my age and my experience were all negatives, and it's like, Wow, what is happening here?
00:12:17.679 --> 00:12:19.279
It was it was very traumatic for me.
00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:24.960
I think that for men, um, and you've noticed this, I'm sure.
00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:34.320
Um you'll go to a party or you go to a social event, and somebody will inevitably ask, Well, who are you?
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What do you do?
00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:38.159
You know, and what it what do men typically fall back on?
00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:39.039
And even women.
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We tell them what we do for a living.
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Well, I'm an IT specialist, or I'm a salesman, or I I work at the bank, or I'm this, or I'm that.
00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:52.159
Well, that's that's a very it's it's a large part of who we are, definitely.
00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:56.159
You know, it helps pay our bills and uh provides for our families.
00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:57.600
That's not really who we are.
00:12:57.759 --> 00:12:59.519
That's that shouldn't be our identity.
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We are I'm James Moffat and you're David Nassif.
00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:06.480
And and there's more to us than a paycheck.
00:13:06.639 --> 00:13:20.559
But but we get so wrapped up and involved in the nine to five or seven to three thirty like I work, and and we get so wrapped up in the daily grind, and and our companies that we work for kind of become our identity.
00:13:20.720 --> 00:13:26.480
Oh, I work for Boeing, or I work for the VA, or I work for General Electric, or whoever, you know, whoever.
00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:29.919
And you're like, because that kind of validates who we are, right?
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It gives us it gives us value.
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:35.519
But in essence, that's not who we are, that's not our identity.
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But when you get cut off at the knees and HR is telling you, hey, you've been working for us for so long, you've done a wonderful job, but we no longer need you.
00:13:45.440 --> 00:13:46.799
And today's your last day.
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And you take your cardboard box and you and you fill it full of all your personal crap, and you walk out the door and you get in your car and you go, Well, what the hell am I gonna do now?
00:13:57.279 --> 00:13:58.480
What uh what am I gonna do?
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I was shocked.
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I was I because it came out of left field, I was not expecting it.
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:09.600
Because I was a regional IT manager and I I serviced five different locations in the low country.
00:14:09.759 --> 00:14:11.360
And they didn't I was it.
00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:13.039
I was a one-man show.
00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:17.840
And I thought, well, surely they're not going to get any do anything to my position.
00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:23.919
And Wendham Vacation Rentals was going through a re-org, which is ultimately what killed my spot.
00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:41.840
And so yeah, so I I I know that I know that I know that there are men out there that have, you know, received you know, either been fired or laid off and received some sort of severance package, and they're sitting around twiddling their thumbs going, what what do I do next?
00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:46.720
Yeah, you know, and of course most of us, unless you have a big fat nest egg, you got creditors looking at you.
00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:57.759
They want the water bill paid, they want the light bill paid, the car payments coming due, the mortgage is coming due, the rent's coming due, credit cards want money, everybody wants money, and they do not care what the problem is.
00:14:57.919 --> 00:15:04.240
All they want to know is is on the due date that they can reach into your checking account and take the money out that you owe them.
00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:05.039
Yep.
00:15:06.559 --> 00:15:12.399
So anyway, a lot of men don't talk about the embarrassment, fear, or anger that comes with job loss.
00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:15.200
What emotions do you see men wrestling with the most?
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:17.200
I think pride is one of them for me.
00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:21.039
But I quickly got rid of the pride thing because it was I I had to go to survival mode.
00:15:21.120 --> 00:15:23.120
It's like, wait a minute, okay, I don't have time to be proud right now.
00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:25.279
I really need to get some money coming in here.
00:15:25.519 --> 00:15:33.440
And in it again, if I had a if I had a couple million dollar nest egg for retirement, a lot of God people do, I wouldn't have to worry, but I didn't.
00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:38.399
I like I said, I had l two years or less, and it's like, okay, no time for pride, I have to put it on.
00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:48.080
You know, can I just mention briefly this I I heard something about when this happened and it kind of got me on the whole track of getting on this uh a straight plan instead of going in circles.
00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:49.200
Let me just share this.
00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:52.000
A scientist at the Max Planck Institute didn't experiment.
00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:58.480
What they did is they placed people in the center of a dense German forest, and they told them to walk in a straight line to the edge.
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And these are confident, capable people.
00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:07.039
But when the clouds covered the sun, the GPS tracking showed they were gradually starting to walk in circular motions.
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:09.840
Some of them were ending up right back where they began.
00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:14.960
But every single one of them was absolutely convinced that they were walking a perfectly straight line the whole time.
00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:17.440
That was me, James, for 40 years.
00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:25.679
I was working hard, making decent money, thought I was doing the right thing and with money and all that kind of thing, but ultimately I was just going in com uh a total circle.
00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:29.360
And that's where I ended up and I says, I can't do this anymore when this happened.
00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:35.519
I says, I have got to get on a plan that gets me going in one direction because I'm done with making mistakes.
00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:36.639
I can't do it anymore.
00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:40.720
And that's why I came up with a compass that got me that kind of put the emotions aside.
00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:44.240
And when I started making money, it was like, okay, this is I can do this now.
00:16:44.320 --> 00:16:46.080
I I I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:49.039
It's a little ways down there, but I I can see it.
00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:50.080
Right.
00:16:50.960 --> 00:16:52.159
So let me ask you this.
00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:56.960
So you just told us that, or told me, or us, yeah, it'll be us at the at some point.
00:16:57.200 --> 00:17:06.480
You told us that you kind of shook off all the pride and all the emotions that comes along with the loss of identity, the loss of job, loss of a paycheck.
00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:08.000
How exactly did you do that?
00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:20.480
Well, basically, when I got this I'll I'll tell you, I uh when I when I tell you that I started my own company or, you know, sales agency, it was worse than that sounds, because I had failed twice in my trying to start a company.
00:17:20.559 --> 00:17:23.680
And so I thought, oh, okay, I guess I'm just not the entrepreneurial type.
00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:25.200
I'll just have to work for a company, which is fine.
00:17:25.279 --> 00:17:26.160
I I can handle it.
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:33.680
So when I decided, because Noah was gonna hire me, when I decided I have to start my own company, it was a lot of concern because I tried it.
00:17:33.759 --> 00:17:37.599
One of the failures put me into serious six-figure debt that took years to pay off.
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:39.920
So I mean, it was like there's emotional scars there.
00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:44.160
But here's the thing I understood, James, that I learned lessons from those failures.
00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:47.759
I learned things that I didn't know then that I know now.
00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:54.880
And so although I'm 63 now, a lot older, I am a smarter because I understand what now to avoid and what not to avoid.
00:17:55.039 --> 00:18:03.759
And when I started digging in and really started going for it, I just didn't have time to feel sorry for myself or to blame other people or to get proud.
00:18:03.920 --> 00:18:06.799
I had to dig in there and really focus.
00:18:06.880 --> 00:18:12.319
You know, I don't know if you've ever heard the phrase, pray like everything depends on God, then get up and work like everything depends on you.
00:18:12.480 --> 00:18:14.720
That's all I was doing for that 10-month period.
00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:16.880
Working and praying, working and praying, working and praying.
00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:21.920
And I I just had to, I was in survival mode, and I I really, I'm not saying I didn't have emotions.
00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:26.240
I obviously had emotions, but the g but the pride part, I I just had to throw that to the curb.
00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:27.200
I didn't have time for that.
00:18:27.279 --> 00:18:30.160
I mean, I still had, I mean, it wasn't an easy 10 months.
00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:33.200
It was very difficult, and there was up and down emotions the whole time.
00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:40.319
But when you have, I think, a target, when you have an objective, which is survival, and this is the means you're gonna do it, because I had no plan B.
00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:41.599
There was no backup plan to this.
00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:45.599
If I didn't do this, then I curl up and I don't know what's gonna happen.
00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:47.200
And so that helped a lot.
00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:48.000
It sounds weird.
00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:48.880
Why did that help?
00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:58.640
Because it kept me focused and I I just didn't have time for the uh a lot of emotions that if I was sitting at home watching TV and feeling sorry for myself or whatever, they would have probably erupted a lot more.
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.960
But I just I had to push them out to get this done.
00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:01.839
That makes sense.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:02.400
Right.
00:19:02.480 --> 00:19:11.599
So you found you found a new purpose or a new identity in what you were doing and why you were doing it, and so that helped you deal with the loss and the grief ultimately.
00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:12.240
Exactly.
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